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When Government Logic Meets KPMG
The Canadian federal government has left us all in splits with its latest financial masterpiece. They decided to hire the illustrious KPMG consultants to help them save money on consultants. Yes, you read that right – it's like hiring a chef to teach you how to cook your own dinner. Talk about government logic at its finest!
New spending details revealed in Parliament showed that the Department of Natural Resources, under the watchful eye of Minister Jonathan Wilkinson, doled out a whopping $669,650 to KPMG, a global professional services company, for their consulting expertise. The purpose? To develop recommendations that would ensure Canadian tax dollars are used efficiently. You can't make this stuff up.
Treasury Board President Anita Anand is leading the charge to save a cool $15 billion over five years, and she's promised to show us the magic tricks she'll be performing with our money. The KPMG contract is a part of her grand plan, along with the mysterious "first wave of details" she's promised to release this month. It's like watching a magician tell you they're about to pull a rabbit out of a hat and then disappear with the hat.
The comedy doesn't end there. It turns out that federal spending on outsourcing has been skyrocketing, despite the Liberals' 2015 promise to cut back on consultants. In 2015-16, they spent $8.35 billion on outsourcing. Fast forward to 2022-23, and that number has ballooned to $15.7 billion. It's almost as if they're trying to set a new world record for breaking promises.
NDP MP Gord Johns, who deserves an award for his comic timing, pointed out that the KPMG spending illustrates how "ridiculous and out of control and absurd" things have become. He's right, of course, but we can't help but chuckle at the irony. It's like a comedy show where the government is the headlining act.
To add a touch of suspense to the whole affair, the government shared the titles of reports provided by KPMG but conveniently forgot to provide the reports. It's like being handed the trailer for a movie but being told you can't watch the film. What secrets do those reports hold? Perhaps they reveal the hidden art of spending money on consultants to save money on consultants. Or maybe it's a treasure map leading to buried savings.
As the uproar continues, the government operations committee has embarked on a quest to uncover the mysteries behind the ArriveCan app and its $54-million price tag. What makes it all the more entertaining is that it's linked to misconduct allegations by a software company called Botler. The RCMP is even involved, making it a true detective story. Who knew government outsourcing could be this riveting?
In the next episode of this comedic saga, the committee plans to investigate the interactions between private IT contractors and the public servants who hand out contracts. Will they find hidden alliances and secret handshakes? Tune in next time to find out!
The Canadian federal government's decision to hire KPMG to save money on consultants is the stuff of satire legends. It's a comedic masterpiece that keeps on giving, and it reminds us all that government logic can be the best punchline. As we eagerly await the next twist in this ongoing farce, one thing is for sure: the government's sense of humour is unmatched, and its ability to spend money on consultants while promising the opposite is nothing short of a comic marvel.